1 Life Your Choice

"Who are you?" Have you ever been asked this question? Maybe you have even asked this question as you stared into the mirror.  In either circumstance, for most people, this is one question that brings fear, stammering, and a confusing life story / testimony / difference between what I do and who I am definition.  I have witnessed very few times where this question was met with a clear, concise, quick answer... even during those "mirror conversations".  I recently watch a video that touched on this topic from a business point of view; however, instead of asking the question "Who are you?", the speaker simply asked "Why do you do what you do?".  As I watched I definitely saw the need for a company to know why they do what they do, simply because it rallies people around an idea - it causes their heart to resonate with a resounding "That's exactly how I feel".  It instills passion, invokes emotion and gets to who we truly are as people.  Yet as I watched the video, my mind turned from business to myself.  Why do I do the things I do?  If I understood the reason "Why" I do things, would this help me understand and be able to clarify exactly who I am? And, if I were to truly be honest about why I do what I do, would I like the result of who it said I was? I am in the midst of wrestling with this question and it has brought a new light to my daily activities; "Why do I do the things I do?" has revealed some inconsistencies in who I say that I am.  This has bothered me to say the least. 

I have realized that, as a Christian, no experience should justify a change in my answer to who I am.  Dr. Martin Luther King (whom the video also speaks of) never defined himself by what he did, how he had been treated, or the attributes he had been born with. All of these things helped to guide him in some way but they never defined him.  He chose to define himself by who Christ said that he was; and because of this, the reason he did the things that he did, his "Why", never changed.  When I let someone's actions determine my kindness level to them; when I allow my feelings to dictate my obedience; when I let the past determine the future; I have gotten off track.

I am a child of the King, a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I do the things I do to bring honor and glory to His name. I love others so that others can know His love; "love the Lord your God with all your heart".  I worship Him in gratitude for who He is and all He has done; "love the Lord your God with all your soul". I live with integrity and keep my mind pure so that I do not tarnish the name of Christ; "love the Lord your God with all your mind". I workout and practice healthy habits to honor the temporary temple He has blessed me with; "love the Lord your God with all your strength".  Why do I do these things?  Because of who I am.  When these two become incongruent, either I have become someone else or I am practicing behaviors that do not represent my true self.

So, who are you?  Would your "why" confirm that answer or would it cause people to think "Maybe he needs to spend a little more time in front of the mirror."  My prayer is that you will experience the joy that comes when your "who" and "why" line up!

John 3:30,
Jonathan
To watch the video by Simon Sinek that got me thinking, just click below.  Believe me, it will be a well invested 18 minutes.

I ran across an article yesterday by Gina Serpe and I have to admit the picture is what caught my attention.  Surely Gatorade wouldn't have made a "Haterade" refreshment line, so what is the deal? Well, as I read the article, this was actually a stunt pulled by an individual. "Kay told KUSA that with the help of an artist pal—one who had the good sense to remain anonymous—he planted 1,000 of the bottles across the state for the simple purpose of creating conversation." I think he accomplished his goal... along with mounting legal concerns and pending lawsuits with the FDA and Gatorade.

Let's talk about our HEART (Relationships) today.  Looking at the news story above, you have to ask yourself, did he really accomplish his goal and if so, at what cost? Have you ever heard of a husband or wife starting an argument with their spouse all for the goal of "starting conversation"?  I have all too often and frankly I still can't figure out that reasoning.  I mean I understand that some spouses, especially when it comes to men (sorry guys!), can have trouble communicating - but starting an argument just to get them to talk...wow.  I have also seen, and in all honesty been guilty of, those making a sarcastic comment to prove a point or to again open the "door of discussion" about a particular problem.  What has happened in both scenarios?  Someone has not thought through the ramifications of "creating conversation" at all costs.

When these types of methods are used, not only do we have to deal with the problem we were hoping to discuss - whatever has been frustrating us; but we also have created a whole new problem that we are either going to have to deal with or sweep under the rug of unresolved issues.  By not thinking it through, we have turned 1 problem into 2 (or 3...5).  So the question is, if we have an issue that we really want to discuss, how do we start a conversation that isn't going to lead us down a path we don't want to go?

Here is a simple list of questions, that can be a helpful filter, to process the conversation you are about to bring up:
1. Would there be a better time to say what I am about to say?
2. What other issues could this conversation bring up?
3. Am I ready to deal with those issues should they come up?
4. Am I at a point emotionally where this will not be construed as starting a fight but rather beginning a discussion?
5. Do I have an outcome I would like to see about this particular issue?
6. If so, what is it specifically?

What would you add to the filter? Comment and let's begin a conversation!


(To read the full article by Gina Sherpe, Click Here)

From age 22 to 31 I served as a youth pastor in Bloomington, IL. I truly saw my job as being one to come along side parents and help them "train up a child in the way they should go". Unfortunatly, not every child had parents with that same goal in mind; and even though many parents did, the job was seldom an easy task. I loved working with teenagers and parents but what I loved most was when I saw teenagers and parents working together. I came across a video from Josh Shipp that I would like to share today. If you are a teenager / parent / youthworker - take 10 minutes out of your day and be challenged! Remember that giving God "all your Heart" means truly letting Him have your relationships.

Have you ever caught yourself believing the grass is greener on the other side? I know I have. And I know I am not alone; this has been a weakness of people since the beginning of time. Because of its universal understanding, many people have responded to this statement over the years; There is a proverb that says "The grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to mow it." How true that is! There have also been the comical jabs like, "...and when there are dogs on both sides of the fence it just turns yellow eventually anyway." However, my all-time favorite quote, when it comes to the other side of the fence is - "The grass is greener where you water it." Today I would like to spend just a couple of moments speaking to you about watering the grass.

As I write this it is overcast and rainy outside; in fact, the weekly forecast in my area is "shower's likely". I won't be needing to water my grass anytime soon. Yet what happens in nature rarely makes its way into everyday life. The things in our lives rarely get "watered" for us. Our relationships, our work environments, our spiritual walk, our nutritional goals, rarely grow or improve unless we take deliberate action. We have to water!

Yet as soon as we start watering, it seems our human nature draws us to look over the fence. We see the new exercise equipment or diet fad on T.V. and are ready to jump over the fence to get it. We run from church to church, from seminar to seminar, seeking that next great spiritual insight that is going to bring us joy and fulfillment. We can never concentrate on the career we are in because we are always more concerned with those around us who seem to be getting partial treatment. We only look at the faults in our spouse and are ready to jump the fence at the first sign of a better option. Does this sound logical? Yet it happens everyday.

How many marriages have you seen destroyed because of "the other side of the fence" mentality? How many employees have you seen frustrated in their work environments? How many church-goers have you seen who are always complaining about their church and pastor, no matter which one they are a part of this month? How many unhealthy people have you seen with basements full of every late-night physical fitness equipment ever advertised? The other side of the fence; this mentality can be devastating, or at best, bring a depressing discontentment. These people have yet to realize the value of "watering their grass". They have failed to understand that until you decide to make the best of where you are, true contentment is always going to elude you.

Have you taken time to water the areas of your life - your relationships, work environments, spiritual walk, health? If not, stop day-dreaming over the fence and begin creating a better yard for yourself today!

Do you have any tips on how you have created a healthier yard in your life? If so, tell us about it in the comment section below. I will be publishing a "Tips on Watering" Post in the near future.

Accountability. That one word can cause grown men and women to take an anxious step back. What is it that keeps us from embracing an action that has been proven to bring success to people throughout history? I guess it comes from the from the fear that we are not going to make the cut - that someone is going to discover that we are not perfect. However, as soon as we voice these fears, we have to laugh because we know that there was only one who was ever perfect... and he had the whole "Son of God" thing working for him. The rest of us have "junk" that we deal with on a consistent basis; an idea that became a best seller for author John Ortberg - "Everybody's Normal Until You Get To Know Them" - I love that title! So, we all struggle with something; but can't we just go on in blissful denial? Can't we just pretend to be perfect and pretend others are the same? Well, not if we want to experience the life that Christ came to give. In order to experience true joy, we must choose to make accountability a part of our daily lives.

I heard it said this weekend that "People don't do what you expect but rather what you inspect". How true that is! How many people hit the brake when they see a cop on the side of the highway? How many find themselves with a new desire to workout when they have a wedding they have to attend in a few months? How many find themselves actually trying to learn the material of a class when they know there is a test on Friday? Why? Because we live up to the saying above; we know we are going to be inspected. Inspection, or accountability, is a powerfully persuasive tool. It will get you out of bed in the morning, help you open up your Bible, keep you away from destructive habits and help you spend more quality time in your relationships. So, why doesn't everyone do it? Because like anything that is worthwhile, it is not easy. Accountability requires intentionality, vulnerability and honesty - let's look a little closer at each of these:

1. Intentionality

First off, if you are going to bring accountability into you life, you have to be intentional about it. No one is going to simply come up to you and ask you to share all of your problems, hang-ups, and bad habits; it's just not going to happen. So, what do you do?

• Make a list of areas that you seem to not have success in (Diet & Exercise, Destructive Habits, Daily Quite Times, etc...).
• Seek out someone that you trust and can be honest with.
• Ask them to help keep you accountable by giving them permission to ask you weekly, or every few days, how you are doing in these areas.
• Help them understand that you are not asking them to be accountable to you (no one likes to be forced into accountability) but rather you just need someone to inspect your life regularly.

Being intentional about this process is the only way it will come into your life and thus help you overcome these problem areas.

2. Vulnerability

It is never easy to tell someone that you have missed the mark - that you haven't done what you said you were going to do. What is even worse is when someone points out a failure in your life when you haven't seemed to notice it yet. However, all of this is a part of a vulnerable accountable relationship. And if you are in one for any length of time, there will come a day when you find yourself in a vulnerable position, taking advice from someone you trust. This is not an easy process but you have to be humble enough to open your life up to constructive criticism. This is the only way you will ever learn; if that wasn't true, your life wouldn't have any problems. Yet even if you make it this far, this whole process can be totally derailed if you do not follow step 3.

3. Honesty

This seems like a pretty absurd point - of course we are going to be honest. We have been intentional about finding someone we trust; we have been vulnerable enough to tell them our faults; of course we are going to be honest. However, let me ask you a question - have you ever lied to someone you loved? Point made. We have all lied to spare someone's feelings, not be embarrassed, or to not disappoint. Though in an accountable relationship, this is not only unproductive but a waste of time. What can be worse than seeking out someone to help you with your problem areas only to add "lying to them" to the list. If you can't be honest with the person you have chosen, end the accountability - you are wasting everyone's time. Ask yourself why you couldn't be honest? If the only reason is because you were embarrassed, then get over it and begin again. Remember what we said at the beginning, everyone has things they are dealing with and the only way to overcome them is to be intentional about getting them out of your life.

I hope you will continue to make the choice to give God your Heart; Soul; Mind; Strength. And if you are having any problems in doing so, maybe accountability can help bring success!

Do you know your love language?
Check out: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/