Accountability - One of The Secrets To Success
Friday, April 03, 2009
I heard it said this weekend that "People don't do what you expect but rather what you inspect". How true that is! How many people hit the brake when they see a cop on the side of the highway? How many find themselves with a new desire to workout when they have a wedding they have to attend in a few months? How many find themselves actually trying to learn the material of a class when they know there is a test on Friday? Why? Because we live up to the saying above; we know we are going to be inspected. Inspection, or accountability, is a powerfully persuasive tool. It will get you out of bed in the morning, help you open up your Bible, keep you away from destructive habits and help you spend more quality time in your relationships. So, why doesn't everyone do it? Because like anything that is worthwhile, it is not easy. Accountability requires intentionality, vulnerability and honesty - let's look a little closer at each of these:
1. Intentionality
First off, if you are going to bring accountability into you life, you have to be intentional about it. No one is going to simply come up to you and ask you to share all of your problems, hang-ups, and bad habits; it's just not going to happen. So, what do you do?
- Make a list of areas that you seem to not have success in (Diet & Exercise, Destructive Habits, Daily Quite Times, etc...).
- Seek out someone that you trust and can be honest with.
- Ask them to help keep you accountable by giving them permission to ask you weekly, or every few days, how you are doing in these areas.
- Help them understand that you are not asking them to be accountable to you (no one likes to be forced into accountability) but rather you just need someone to inspect your life regularly.
Being intentional about this process is the only way it will come into your life and thus help you overcome these problem areas.
2. Vulnerability
It is never easy to tell someone that you have missed the mark - that you haven't done what you said you were going to do. What is even worse is when someone points out a failure in your life when you haven't seemed to notice it yet. However, all of this is a part of a vulnerable accountable relationship. And if you are in one for any length of time, there will come a day when you find yourself in a vulnerable position, taking advice from someone you trust. This is not an easy process but you have to be humble enough to open your life up to constructive criticism. This is the only way you will ever learn; if that wasn't true, your life wouldn't have any problems. Yet even if you make it this far, this whole process can be totally derailed if you do not follow step 3.
3. Honesty
This seems like a pretty absurd point - of course we are going to be honest. We have been intentional about finding someone we trust; we have been vulnerable enough to tell them our faults; of course we are going to be honest. However, let me ask you a question - have you ever lied to someone you loved? Point made. We have all lied to spare someone's feelings, not be embarrassed, or to not disappoint. Though in an accountable relationship, this is not only unproductive but a waste of time. What can be worse than seeking out someone to help you with your problem areas only to add "lying to them" to the list. If you can't be honest with the person you have chosen, end the accountability - you are wasting everyone's time. Ask yourself why you couldn't be honest? If the only reason is because you were embarrassed, then get over it and begin again. Remember what we said at the beginning, everyone has things they are dealing with and the only way to overcome them is to be intentional about getting them out of your life.
I hope you will continue to make the choice to give God your Heart; Soul; Mind; Strength. And if you are having any problems in doing so, maybe accountability can help bring success!
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3 comments:
What a great post! :) Thanks! This is Lindsey...cousin of Dave and Dan Kane... not sure if you remember me or not....I was friends with Hannah! I saw your blog on her FB page! Hope all is well! :) Lindsey
http://arewardfromhim.blogspot.com
Jonathan,
What a great post. I loved every bit of it. Thanks for the reminder that not only do I need to find an accountability partner for me, but I need to minister to someone also. Would love to reconnect with your family some time.
Thank you guys for reading - great to hear from both of you! Lindsey, I tried to read your blog but as soon as that song started playing I had to get off of there - it makes me cry everytime! :)
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